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growing up.
As I get older and come to more milestones in my life, it seems that getting older isn't exactly a bad thing. Sometimes it involves making stuff up in situations that seem alien. Sometimes it involveslearning to cope. Other times, it's everyone else that is having a hard time dealing with it. Since I've moved to school, gotten my ears pierced and gauged, gotten a tattoo and gotten a job, it seems that I'm not the one who's having a hard time adjusting. MY parents seem to be having a hard time getting used to it. But there comes a time in every parents life where they need to start to let go. I understand that i still need some support, but it's my life and choices. I can handle the repercussions of my actions.
I understand that my dad doesn't support many of my life's choices, but I think I'm doing fairly well. I've made the decission to commit to a life without drugs and alcohol. When most kids my age are out getting smashed and high or doing whatever the hell they want, I'm sticking to the clear road. Why associate with something that could diminish my chances of accomplishing my life goals. I want to do a lot with my life, and I don't want to let anything get in the way of that. not saying that drinking alcohol automatically dashes all of ur hopes and dreams. I've chosen to live a clean life, I've seen what drugs and alcohol can do to a person, and I don't want to let that happen to me or be associated with that sort of thing. I want to graduate from college, go on to grad school, become a teacher, have my own house some day and keep reptiles. I'm not trying to change the world, i'm not so sure that one person can do that. But if i could get through to a new generation of kids and let them know, hey you don't need to drink to be cool, I think I could be a pretty good role model.\

To many people today rely on what others think of them. Just because 1 or 2 or 10 people say ur cool, doesnt make it so. Just because 1 or 2 people say ur not cool doesn't make that right either. I feel like, if your always trying to fit in and please everyone but urself, ur gonna end up unhappy and uncool. You can't please all the people all the time. I'd argue that it's better to just be yourself and disregard what people say. People are imperfect, by nature. So if someone says i'm uncool, they could be right or they could be wrong. why should i care? Life is more about how i feel about myself. Don't let them tell me how to live my life. fads are over rated. Everytime you think you've caught up with one, it becomes obsolete and your not cool anymore. everyones chacing cool, but who ever really catches it? Drink this and you'll be cool(poser), wear these pants and you can hangout with us(haha those are so last week), hangout here on thursday [friday, saturday] nights and you'll be awesome(not really). people never read the fine print. Once you think you're there and you've finally been accepted, the rules are changed and it's a whole new game. I don't see the point of chasing them around and playing their stupid games.

To many people spending their lives trying to please others. All my life, I've been trying to impress my dad. 'hey dad, i got a B+ on my test today'.....'what happened, no A?'......'hey dad, check it out, I cleaned out my room and the dinning room too'....'look at this kitchen it's a pig pen, and this living room, you couldn't een live in here' matter how hard you try, they just wont accept it. every now and again there's a good job or a congratulations, but most of the times it's followed by a try harder. It's a poisonous relationship. If i keep trying and trying, I'll drive myself insane trying to meet his expectations, because they can never be met.

I'll post more later...
keep ur eyes peeled for a short story on the way as well...

p. regalis outline tattoo


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